Ever heard of cyclocross? Chances are if you’re not one of my riding buddies, my wife, or your name rhymes with Bulmer, you haven’t.

Cyclocross is… Well, to understand cyclocross you need to understand cycling in general. For the better part of the year, most “roadies” (folks who take cycling and racing very seriously, but do not define themselves as mountain bikers) ride their road bike on the road. The miles are long, the speeds are high, and the tan lines are otherworldly. However, once it begins to get cold, the idea of facing 20mph (or more) winds for hours at a time several times per week is not a good one. Enter cyclocross.

I may not be entirely accurate on the history, but I’ll give it a shot without looking things up. Europeans recognized this massive gap in the season, love them some beer, and had road bikes gathering dust in their homes. Thus, cyclocross. Off-road racing on road bikes (they’re purpose-built now, but still most closely resemble road bikes) with beer. Sound lacking? Yeah, they thought so too so they added hurdles. Hop off your bike, jump over, and hop back on as quickly as possible. The racing is hard, fast, nonstop, and the focus is on fun.

Friends have been berating me to try it out for years, and I missed out on the road and mountain biking seasons this year so a few months ago I did some bike maneuvering and ended up on a cyclocross bike. Took a few weeks to get it pieced together, it’s still a little bit non-kosher (has flat bars as opposed to road bike bars because those are the parts I had sitting around. This is illegal in elite-level racing for no other reason that I can find other than it breaks from tradition), but I’ve put a couple hundred miles on it, have a great little practice loop setup in my local park, and jumped in.

As far as the race goes, it was an absolute blast. I entered the rookie race as I couldn’t make the earlier race (hosted a 5k in Herndon) and well, I’m a rookie. My nerves weren’t too bad, but I had some serious concern of the barriers; I don’t have any hurdles at the park I practice at and realized how silly I look hopping around on a bicycle to simulate them so I didn’t do more than a handful of dismount/mounts in the weeks leading up to the race. Luckily, it worked out pretty well. I fumbled a couple of times figuring out the correct foot to remove from my pedals, but didn’t fall or lose too much time. DCCX goes down as a top-notch racing event. Great organization, great course, great spectators. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.

Now, back to the race… The course was intense. Nonstop sprinting. Definitely not a type of riding I practice… Ever. I can do long, powerful rides and short stints of power, but this was gogogo the entire time. My race lasted about 22 minutes (lost a lap due to the day’s schedule being behind and us being the easiest race to cut short) so I got in three laps. My heart rate monitor confirms the intensity with 98% of my race being in Zone 4 (pushing it) and

I went back and forth with a few folks the entire race, but think I stayed in 6th place the entire time (click for results). As soon as someone would pass me, I’d pass someone else. I was making a heck of a move on the two guys in front of me (were gassed more than me and I could tell), but just didn’t have enough and finished eight seconds and sixteen seconds behind them. With another lap, I surely would have gotten the closest one and finished in 5th/gotten a spot on the podium, but it wasn’t meant to be. On the bright side, I can run more rookie level races because I didn’t get on the podium 😉

My bike turned out to be great. Despite being a few pounds too heavy, it functioned better than expected. I need to cut my handlebar down about another inch (I knew this before the race), but otherwise no changes planned before my next race, next Sunday and the Sunday after that. Yeah, I’m hooked. As rookie races don’t really ever happen, I’ll be riding with the big boys at both events. Would be more than pleased with a top 50% finish, but have no idea if that’s realistic.

After finishing the race, Heather and Brian were there to greet me with a beer ($1 for a cup of quality stuff… ridiculous). I happily grabbed it and managed to get half of it in me. The other half? Well, I opted to take it on a cooldown lap and it spilled all over (note to self: bike is sticky; wash it). Also on the cooldown lap, I took the chance to take a cupcake hand-up from some folks in the middle of the course. They’d been offering one the entire ride, but I couldn’t do it with the podium in sight. I slowed, opened wide, and a guy stuffed it in (slow-clap if you thought TWSS). Turned out far better than I think either of us expected. One of his friends got a photo, but slim chance I’ll ever get my hands on it (slow-clap again).

Seconds after downing the cupcake and beer, I was nearly run over by a pair of guys on a tandem bike going about 30mph down a hill. Had the crowd not warned me and I moved out of the way, bad things would have ensued. Yes, a tandem bike… and they were wearing skirts. And probably drunk. Silly. Silly awesome.

Special thanks to Heather and Brian for coming out to support me/be available to drive me to the hospital and another thanks to the McDonald crew (friends from HS whom I’ve linked back up with through cycling) for shouting mean/inspirational things to me throughout the race. The tuba taunting can continue, but the leg hair comments must stop 😉 Next time I’m sure there won’t be a podium in sight so I’ll happily accept that beer hand-up.

Cross rocks.