THIS WAS WRITTEN 7 YEARS AGO. I AM CLEANING UP OLD POST DRAFTS. I DON’T KNOW WHY I DIDN’T POST THIS. I’ve gone ahead and updated links, which was interesting because so many of these brands have changed hands since that time. Only minor edits and fixes made.

I’ve compiled the following list of yogurts over the past six months in hopes that it’ll make your visit to that section of your grocery store all the much easier. In order of awesome:

Fage – Greek. Rich texture, a little pricier than average, fruit isn’t mixed, fruit hole only fits teaspoons, can flip fruit in by folding carton, but that’s dumb. This is my go-to as it is far and away better than the other brands. It can be pricey, but grab a lot when it’s on sale (my local store usually has one flavor for a dollar off so I load up on that) and you’ll get by okay.

Müller – Regular and greek. By Quaker. You’ve seen the commercials… they’re good. They have regular yogurt, which is super smooth and very good, and Greek, which seems like it’s really just a thicker version of the regular yogurt. Tasty, but I’m not sure it qualifies as truly Greek. “The fruit hole” is better sized and shaped than that of Fage, which earns so bonus points. The honey/apricot flavor was awesome.

— Anything below this line will not be bought again unless on sale —

Chobani – Greek. “Smoother,” fruit on bottom (give you two options for eating… mix or dip the tip), probably better for newbies to “real” yogurt.

— Anything below this line will not be bought again —

Noosa – Aussie. Super smooth. Has a bit of a sour cream flavor to it. Quite good for what it is, but probably won’t buy again.

Harris Teeter – Greek. Just OK. Doesn’t do anything well, but also doesn’t do anything poorly. Unfortunately, I prefer above average so this will not be bought again.

Liberté – Supposed to be Greek, but seemed like regular yogurt to me.. Fruit at bottom and a deep container so you must mix. Seems more like a dessert. Very creamy, rich, and sweet. There’s a lot of discussion on this one going downhill.

Voskos – Greek. Not a bad consistency and decent fruit, but a plasticky/metallic/artificial flavor. Not a fan.

— Anything below this line is terrible —

So Delicious – Greek-style. No it’s not. Made with coconut milk, this was more like a gel than a yogurt. The flavor was kind of neat if you’re into coconut (this was raspberry flavor), but I couldn’t get over the texture.

Siggi’s – Icelandic. It was with the Greek yogurt so I assumed it was going to be similar. I’ve also heard Iceland is pretty awesome so I expected to this be, but then I remembered they like to eat fermented shark. While I haven’t had fermented shark, I can’t imagine this tastes much worse. Why do my mixed berries taste like chipotle? This is a smooth texture with… damnit, I can’t read anything from this other than chipotle. I went looking for some sweet berry goodness in the bottom, but nothing. Instead, I threw a big dollop onto my lap. Made in New York. Apparently very green and eco-friendly production. Tastes bad (and others agree). I threw mine out after two spoonfuls. Avoid. UPDATE SEVEN YEARS LATER I’VE GROWN TO LIKE THIS BRAND.

Happy live cultures!