My Mom, being an Eagles fan, thinking she’s hilarious, forwarded me one of those typical “your football team stinks.” My responses, which are new material, and actually hilarious, are in-line:

 
HEADLINE: “D.C. Police are “cracking” down on speeders. For the first offense,
they give you two Redskins tickets. (If you get stopped a second time, they give
you two Nationals tickets.)”
Q. What do you call 47 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Washington Redskins.

Old and used for every team. People need new jokes.
 

Q. How do you keep the Redskins out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal post.

Same as above.
 

Q. Where do you go in D.C. in case of a tornado?
A. To FedEx Field – they never have a touchdown there!

Same as above.
 

Q. What do you call a Redskin with a Super Bowl ring?
A. Senior Citizen

Q. What do you call an Eagle with a Super Bowl ring? A. Thief.
 

Q. How many Redskins does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A. We may never find out in the 21st century.

Q. How many Eagles does it take to win a Super Bowl? A. [To the tune of this]: 600 strong and growwwing. (rough number of players they’ve had since the first Super Bowl)
 

Q. What do the Redskins and opossums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.


Old again.

Win? Win.