My Mom, being an Eagles fan, thinking she’s hilarious, forwarded me one of those typical “your football team stinks.” My responses, which are new material, and actually hilarious, are in-line:<br/><div style=”font-size: 12pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial;”><font color=”black” face=”arial” size=”2″><div><div> </div> <div style=”font-style: italic;”> <div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin-left: 0.5in;”><b>HEADLINE: “D.C. Police are “cracking” down on speeders. For the first offense, </b></div> <div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin-left: 0.5in;”><b>they give you two Redskins tickets. (If you get stopped a second time, they give </b></div> <div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in;”><b>you two Nationals tickets.)”</b></div> <div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin-left: 0.5in;”><b>Q. What do you call 47 millionaires sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?</b></div> <div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in;”><b>A. The Washington Redskins.</b></div></div></div></font></div><div style=”font-style: italic;”>Old and used for every team. People need new jokes.<br/> </div><div class=”im” style=”font-style: italic;”><blockquote class=”gmail_quote” style=”border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;”> <div><div class=”gmail_quote”><blockquote class=”gmail_quote” style=”border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0px 0px 0px 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;”><div><div style=”font-size: 12pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial;”> <font color=”black” face=”arial” size=”2″><div><div> <div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin-left: 0.5in;”><b>Q. How do you keep the Redskins out of your yard?</b></div> <div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in;”><b>A. Put up a goal post.</b></div></div></div></font></div></div></blockquote></div></div></blockquote></div><div style=”font-style: italic;”>Same as above.<br/> </div><div class=”im” style=”font-style: italic;”><blockquote class=”gmail_quote” style=”border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;”> <div><div class=”gmail_quote”><blockquote class=”gmail_quote” style=”border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0px 0px 0px 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;”><div><div style=”font-size: 12pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial;”> <font color=”black” face=”arial” size=”2″><div><div> <div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin-left: 0.5in;”><b>Q. Where do you go in D.C. in case of a tornado?</b></div> <div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in;”><b>A. To FedEx Field – they never have a touchdown there!</b></div></div></div></font></div></div></blockquote></div></div></blockquote></div><div style=”font-style: italic;”>Same as above.<br/> </div><div class=”im” style=”font-style: italic;”><blockquote class=”gmail_quote” style=”border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;”> <div><div class=”gmail_quote”><blockquote class=”gmail_quote” style=”border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0px 0px 0px 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;”><div><div style=”font-size: 12pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial;”> <font color=”black” face=”arial” size=”2″><div><div> <div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin-left: 0.5in;”><b>Q. What do you call a Redskin with a Super Bowl ring?</b></div> <div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in;”><b>A. Senior Citizen</b></div></div></div></font></div></div></blockquote></div></div></blockquote></div><div style=”font-style: italic;”>Q. What do you call an Eagle with a Super Bowl ring? A. Thief.<br/> </div><div class=”im” style=”font-style: italic;”><blockquote class=”gmail_quote” style=”border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;”> <div><div class=”gmail_quote”><blockquote class=”gmail_quote” style=”border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0px 0px 0px 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;”><div><div style=”font-size: 12pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial;”> <font color=”black” face=”arial” size=”2″><div><div> <div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin-left: 0.5in;”><b>Q. How many Redskins does it take to win a Super Bowl?</b></div> <div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin-bottom: 12pt; margin-left: 0.5in; margin-right: 0in;”><b>A. We may never find out in the 21st century.</b></div></div></div></font></div></div></blockquote></div></div></blockquote></div><div style=”font-style: italic;”>Q. How many Eagles does it take to win a Super Bowl? A. [To the tune of <a href=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTCcrXf2buQ” target=”_blank”>this</a>]: 600 strong and growwwing. (rough number of players they’ve had since the first Super Bowl)<br/>  </div><div class=”im” style=”font-style: italic;”><blockquote class=”gmail_quote” style=”border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;”><div><div class=”gmail_quote”><blockquote class=”gmail_quote” style=”border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0px 0px 0px 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;”> <div><div style=”font-size: 12pt; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Arial;”><font color=”black” face=”arial” size=”2″><div><div> <div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin-left: 0.5in;”><b>Q. What do the Redskins and opossums have in common?</b></div> <div class=”MsoNormal” style=”margin-left: 0.5in;”><b>A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.</b></div></div></div></font></div></div></blockquote></div></div></blockquote></div><br style=”font-style: italic;”/><span style=”font-style: italic;”>Old again.</span><br/><br/>Win? Win.<br/>