Well, we all are really, but I’m dying soon! We had a health & benefit fair here at work yesterday so I went ahead and got some tests done:

Pulse: 55bpm, sweet.
Body fat: 10.8%, sweet.
BMI: 23.1, on the low side of normal, but lower is always better unless you’re sickly low.
Grip: 116lb/in, the guy said this is less than average for my age. I say whatever, I play mad video games and work on cars, I have hand strength like whoa. The guy before me got 60lb/in, that pansy, I should have beat him up and taken his wallet.
Blood pressure: 144/71, oh shizzle my dizzle! My systolic classifies me as having “Stage 1 Hypertension.” Woot! Death! I think the blood pressure is BS too, I’ll be getting a 2nd opinion from my local Giant pharmacy machine.